2010 really wasn’t that bad!

I’ve seen more than a few status updates today that bid 2010 “good riddance”, and express hopes that 2011 will be a better year. I, on the other hand, don’t think 2010 was that bad. Granted, it’s going down in history as the year I made it through my first foray into graduate-level studies… and the year that someone saw fit to ask me to marry them; so it was bound to stand out as a personal favourite.

I am looking forward to 2011 standing out as well though – because it’s looking more and more like it will be the first year in a very long time in which I haven’t smoked!

Yep – seven tobacco-free weeks under my belt now, and I’m feeling pretty confident that I’ve got this thing licked. I remember being nervous at the outset of this journey about whether I’d be able to stay tobacco-free during the key eligibility period for the BC Lung Association’s QuitNow and Win contest… now I’m not worried at all. (That period, by the way, starts next week and goes to the first week of February – there’s still time to register though, and I highly recommend it!) I haven't had to dread the check-in calls from the folks at Northern Health's Nicotine Intervention Counselling Centre, either -- in fact, I look forward to being able to say I'm still on track!

I heard on the radio today that if you tell other people about your New Year’s resolution, you are three times more likely to keep it than if you kept your plans to yourself. It’s the same method I’ve employed with this quit attempt, I guess – just knowing that so many people are aware of my efforts keeps me on the wagon. That, and cinnamon-flavoured, 4mg Nicorette gum!

So - if you or someone you know made a resolution to quit smoking in 2011 – get, or give, as much support as you can. And thanks, everyone, for the support you’ve given me over the past couple of months. Happy New Year!!!

Good things happen when you make healthy choices!

(as of December 28th)

My Stats:

Your Quit Date is:  11/12/2010 7:45:00 AM 

Time Smoke-Free: 46 days, 3 hours, 11 minutes and 53 seconds   

Cigarettes NOT smoked: 784 

Lifetime Saved:  5 days, 23 hours 

Money Saved: $254.15

Now, for some additional stats:

My engagement date is: Christmas morning, December 25^th 2010

Time engaged: three days or so

Happy? YES!!!

I hope this explains my absence from this blog, and all other forms of social media for the past few days – there were quite a few phone calls and in-person conversations to be made and had, and I really didn’t trust myself to keep the second part quiet!

I hear weddings can be stressful. Well, I’ve recently survived last minute Christmas shopping, house guests, and a nasty little cold bug that has taken up residence in my throat – I think I’ll be able to get through a wedding, too. Even if it is my own!

A status update...

From the handy calculator that comes with free registration to QuitNow Online...

My Stats:

Your Quit Date is:  11/12/2010 7:45:00 AM 

Time Smoke-Free: 41 days, 3 hours, 15 minutes and 47 seconds   

  

Cigarettes NOT smoked: 699 

Lifetime Saved:  5 days, 8 hours 

Money Saved: $226.52

Merry Christmas to me!

And to all of you... thanks for the support so far!

http://www.quitnow.ca/
http://www.northernhealth.ca/

At least I got that resolution thing out of the way…

I have discovered my own personal Kryptonite, and it is stress.

Even I had started to wonder why this quitting smoking thing hasn’t seemed that difficult over the past few weeks. I haven’t been any (okay, much) more cranky than before; I’m not crying myself to sleep at night, and I’m truly enjoying the benefits of having quit (breathing, smelling, tasting, etc). And then – I decided it was time to go shopping.

In the last 48 hours, I have nearly done, or wanted to do, (or some combination of both) the following things:

• Run someone over with a shopping cart
• Run over someone who is pushing a shopping cart 
• Climb into a shopping cart to have a cry, and let someone else do the pushing
•  Scream at a perfectly nice person for no apparent reason
• Scream at a perfect stranger (with several good reasons)
• Scream at everyone within earshot
• Punch something 
• Punch something while screaming
• Hop a flight to Puerto Vallarta (yes, I was dumb enough to enter an airport, too)

The above points are merely an excerpt from a FAR more exhaustive list.

During my appearance Friday on Ben Meisner’s talk show on CFIS FM, Ben asked for my thoughts on the claim that quitting tobacco can be harder than kicking heroin. Since I’m lacking a certain perspective on that, I can’t really say… but I believe that when an addict encounters a trigger for their respective addiction – especially if it pops up unexpectedly, it can be the hardest thing in the world to ignore. And were it not for the support of some very special  people in my life, I don’t think I could have made it through the weekend. Even if in some cases they were the “someones” referred to above.

Based on the length of my current to-do list, and the stress it is undoubtedly going to induce, I think I’ve hit what will be the true test of my resolve to quit – the holidays.

My 15 minutes...

I've been invited to join legendary radio broadcaster Ben Meisner on tomorrow's edition of The Meisner Show, on Prince George's community radio station, CFIS 93.1 FM. And since I'm apparently not shy about letting large groups of people know about my pursuit of a tobacco-free existence - I accepted Ben's invitation!

Feel free to tune in if you're in the neighbourhood. For those of you further afield, fear not - you can also hear "Meisner" streamed online, at http://www.opinion250.com/. The show runs from 9 AM to 10 AM - I'm not sure exactly at what point in the hour I'll be on.

If you miss it, don't worry. I'll be sure to let everyone know how it goes!

Considering the blog name, I should be more social.

Wow, I’m bad at this - keeping up with my blogging responsibilities, that is. On the quitting smoking thing, I’m still a rock star. I hit the one-month-tobacco-free mark yesterday, in fact!

But with less and less frequent cravings, come fewer impulses to talk about them. I’ve come up with a solution – I’ll be turning my attention to writing about things that are happening because I’m having fewer cravings: things like, oh, I don’t know… being able to smell well-done grilled-cheese sandwiches before they become burned grilled-cheese sandwiches. And I’m also committing to responding to any and all comments between posts, so bring them on!

I am VERY excited at having made it a whole month without a smoke… especially after having jolted awake quite a few times in the past four weeks convinced I'd blown it because I'd just had a cigarette – in my sleep! Now, this is different than the other sleep- and smoking-related issues I was having around week one. This is one for anyone who’s into dream analysis - I keep dreaming that I’m smoking! It takes a minute or two upon waking for the relief to sweep in over A/ still being tobacco-free, and B/ never having been prone to sleepwalking!

Not that I should be surprised… I haven’t worked in broadcasting for more than 4 years, and I still have work-dream s where I’m sitting in the news booth; the new intro goes off, and I look down to realize I’m holding a magazine or grocery store flyer instead of a newscast. I wake from those nightmares in a cold sweat after having tried (and failed) to make the disclaimers at the bottom of the advertisements sound like legitimate news stories. But I digress…

Now that the pesky cravings have largely disappeared, and I’m not so concerned that talking about smoking will lead me back to smoking… I invite you to help turn this project into a conversation. Got advice? Got questions? Got answers? I’d love to hear them…

Ask, and ye shall receive

Perhaps if I were more shy about public speaking, and had therefore been more anxious about having to officiate at the Northern Health staff Christmas party on Friday night, I would have been more concerned about getting through it sans-nicotine.

As it turns out, I managed to get all dressed up and all the way to the hotel, before realizing that I had not a single nicotine replacement therapy product on my person! Not only that, but the fact that the hotel's gift/convenience store was conveniently located  right outside the ballroom doors didn't escape my attention. Anyone else see a potential problem here?

So - in keeping with my "if enough people are watching" method of quitting - I took to the stage, introduced myself as an ex-smoker, and proceeded to offer a door prize to the first person who could furnish me with a piece of Nicorette.

Thanks to "James" (and the cheers of a very supportive audience), I'll hit the one-month mark on Friday!

21 days to make, or break, a habit...

I have no idea where that saying comes from, but I'm hoping it's accurate! The three-week mark passed at 7:45 this morning.

I got an email this week from Nancy Viney at Northern Health's Nicotine Intervention Counseling Centre, checking in to see how I was doing. Given my cumulative tobacco-free status as of this week, I'm plannign to email her back and suggest they start telling people that NICC stands for "Now I Can Celebrate!"

She also passed along a link to an online support resource she thought might be of interest - some inspiring stuff!

A couple of other developments... my sense of smell has been resurrected and I can't believe some of the things I can only assumed I've been missing on that front, both good and bad. Food is tasting great, which is why I'm in the process of converting a clothes-rack in my basement back to its original treadmill form. And I'm looking forward to not missing a moment of tonight's Christmas party because I was standing outside in the cold in a dress and high-heels.

The separation of booze and smoke

I am happy to report that I have nothing to report in terms of giving in to temptations! Well, of the tobacco-related variety, at least. After all, there was a Grey Cup game to be watched, and I find that is best done in a licensed establishment.

More than a few people have theorized that, in order to be successful at this quitting thing, I’d be avoiding alcohol as well… and come to think of it, a lot of the advice you read or hear about quitting smoking does suggest avoiding activities or situations that you associate with smoking.

The thing is, I don’t seem to be having any difficulty with having a few drinks (I can actually see all my friends rolling their eyes as I type those words) and not lighting up.

I started giving this some thought when Sharlene Lively offered to go on her own “wine-diet” during my three-day incarceration at her house for the first three days of my quit journey. She explained that she wanted to make things as easy on me as possible, and so she would give up wine, lest the presence of booze make my tobacco cravings that much stronger. That, and misery loves company.

But I came to the conclusion that all those smoking regulations that I lamented at the time (no more smoking in bars or restaurants, in particular), appear to have had a positive impact after all! While they may not have prompted me to quit (at the time), they did force me to separate the behaviours of drinking and smoking – at least to the point where I can happily still do one, without needing to do the other.

I will now turn my attention to being able to have a pint, while not having to eat the sun-dried tomato crab dip.

Guilt, and the fear of failure

Guilt and fear; both have contributed in equal measure to my seeming inability to get a blog post up lately.

Now before anyone (else) jumps to the same conclusion as my good friend Mike Kellett… I have NOT been “shacked up under a blanket with a carton of Camel non-filters, having the time of (my) life”. But, funny, that he should mention American cigarettes.

Here it comes: The Confession.

House party.

Yet-to-quit-smoking friends.

They (and the conversation we’ve been holding) head outside.

I follow.

To make a long story short, at one point I reached over and snagged someone’s smoke and took a drag. ONE drag.

“Why?” you ask?  Lapse in judgment… moment of weakness… curiosity… In other words, I have no decent explanation.

The immediate result? Utter revulsion. In no small part due to the fact that the cigarette in question was a Marlboro. Gross.

Hot on the heels of that sensation were overwhelming feelings of disappointment, shame and guilt. And even though I suppose it could have been a much more serious infraction, I’m pretty adept at feeling guilty.

There may have only been a handful of people there to bear witness to this horrible thing I’d done. But I quickly realized that, in the interests of integrity, I would have to confess my crime to the world (or at least those inhabitants who are actually paying attention). And what if, before I managed to get up the nerve to do that, I did it again? Only my biggest (current) fear.

Enter Northern Health medical health officer Dr. Charl Badenhorst, who provided some very valuable advice on the day I announced my intention to quit. He must have had some idea that it would come in handy. Dr. Badenhorst believes that failure occurs in steps. Step one – a lapse. It’s a first slip, he says, that you shouldn’t worry too much about; beyond making corrections to avoid the next one. Step two is relapse, where you’re making the same mistakes over and over. Those lead to Step three – collapse. Yet even at this stage, he believes a person may still recover, even if they’ve almost given up.

I’m glad I saved his email. I think I must have had some idea that his advice would come in handy, too.

So… the event that I now choose to refer to as my "minor indiscretion” occurred four days ago. Rather than reset my progress-meter, I’m planning to go ahead and celebrate two weeks of tobacco freedom come 7:45 this Friday morning. That’s because despite one slip, I stopped well short of relapse, let alone collapse – and I refused to quit quitting.

I didn't used to smoke in my sleep...

Progress report: it has been one week and a matter of hours since my last cigarette. 

There have been a number of factors contributing to my success so far, including:

• an extensive supply of nicotine replacement therapy in the form of gum and an inhaler;
• regular emails, facebook and Twitter posts cheering me on (and my desire to keep receiving them);
• the remote possibility that "Greg" guy would make good on his offer to tackle me in public, and;
• the arrival of an Arctic cold front in Prince George.

Yep, even Mother Nature is supporting my quit journey, by providing minus 21 degree temperatures to keep me indoors and away from temptation.

Now, lest anyone get the mistaken impression that this has been a piece of cake and I'm just naturally a ray of sunshine who takes everything in stride and was bound to succeed (that'll get the comments going...), I should tell you about some of the reasons I very nearly DIDN'T make it this far.

Reason # 1 - This is hard!!! Seriously, it's like walking around all day long with the combined feeling that a close friend has moved away for good, you're forgetting to do something really important, and your pants are two sizes too small. Grief, anxiety and physical discomfort, all rolled into one.

Reason # 2 - Life keeps happening. You still have to go to work, you're still going to have disagreements with co-workers, relatives, and friends. It's going to snow for the first time at some point, and you'll realize that everyone has forgotten how to drive (again, even though the snow's only been off the ground for what, people... 5 months?) and... okay... perhaps you get my point. Stress is a trigger for a lot of people who smoke - somehow we get brainwashed into thinking smoking helps us relax (it's more likely the deep breathing).

Reason # 3 - I like to sleep. And for a number of nights this past week, I couldn't do it. At all. And since smoking had always been pretty much a 'waking moments only' activity, I hadn't expected any problems in this department. (I DID have trouble sleeping during past attempts with 'the patch', but because I didn't smoke in my sleep I logically concluded that my body was just reacting to the constant stream of nicotine.)

Well, as it turns out, insomnia is a common (but short-term) side-effect of withdrawal. Ironically enough, the solution (provided to me by one very helpful pharmacists who should probably have been on the first list) was to 'smoke' in my sleep! I kept the inhaler handy through the night, and a puff here and there whenever I sprang awake was enough to take the edge off and let me get back to sleep.

The good news for me, and for anyone else who decides to quit, is that insomnia apparently isn't the only temporary side effect. I'm finding the challenges associated with reasons # 1 and #2 are already becoming less and less likely to cause a relapse. Apparently, this quitting thing can be done!

Catching up

Closing in on Day 6. Haven't hurt anyone (on purpose) or smoked anything, so - yay, me!

A few people have been kind enough to comment on my efforts so far, and I've been negligent in responding. I would like to rectify that with the following:

To 'Greg' - who, on Day 1 (and upon reading the first post), offered to tackle me if he encountered me in a store buying smokes, even if he had no idea who I was... I sincerely hope you haven't been assaulting strangers in the hopes you were preventing a relapse... but I appreciate the sentiment, nonetheless.

To Jenni - yes, the inhalers do look 'a little' like tampons (too funny!). So, besides allowing me to 'smoke' anywhere I want... they're also a great conversation starter.

To Phil - I think I'm starting to forget (to smoke). Thank goodness.

To Steve - thanks for understanding.

This list could get quite lengthy - but sufficed to say I am aware, and appreciative, of the support of MANY people who have helped make this first near-week survivable.

And I've learned a few things that I plan to blog about in the next few days, but I'll give you one example right now. I sat down with Northern Health Nicotine Intervention Counseling Centre Coordinator Nancy Viney on Tuesday morning, to officially declare myself a client. I would have liked to have been able to say that it was for the first time, but I was relieved to hear that most smokers make several attempts before they succeed in quitting. (If they've factored me into that observation, then you gotta know they have a VERY liberal definition of the term 'several'.)

Given my past experience, I knew that we would talk about recognizing and planning for potential relapse triggers; what to expect in terms of withdrawal symptoms, and (more importantly); the benefits of quitting that I could expect to feel within days and weeks. But I was also anxious -- knowing, that at some point, I would eventually have to put my money where my, uh... lungs, are.

See, they have this device - kind of like a breathalyzer for smokers. It measures the amount of carbon monoxide in your system - and the last time I blew into this thingamajigg, I think I actually heard it cough.

I was feeling pretty proud of myself already for having made it 4 days (at that point). But not knowing how long it might take for the carbon monoxide to leave my system, I was preparing to pull a Rebagliati to explain the slightest hint.  

(Trumpet flourish)... ZEROES -- across the board!!!

What I learned is there are good reasons to be found, within days, for quitting smoking.

Part Four (and officially on the blogosphere!)

Wow.

Where to start?

Well - I've been missing in action for a couple of days (apparently, somebody noticed). Just to set the record straight - I wasn't holed up somewhere without Wi-Fi, smoking my brains out.

It's just that this whole NOT smoking cigarettes thing is simply taking up a lot of my time! (yay me, BTW!)

I'll get to the whole update in a minute - but first off, I should mention that this 'blog'.... is turning into an actual BLOG! Now, I don't know exactly this is supposed to work -- but if you're reading this and you are so inclined, you could become a follower of the "Quitting Smoking (the social way)" blog by visiting:

(No worries - I'm assured that the latest additions to this saga will continue to be noted here on facebook, on Northern Health's Twitter feed, and potentially that of a few other agencies, as well.)

I look forward to watching the 'followers' count skyrocket.

So - in order to get back in the good graces of all the people who thought this was a good idea and are now doubting my committment to telling the world about every nic-fit, fat-day and rage-induced outburst (in real time, I might add) - here it is...

Nic-fits? Check. Regularly, in fact. And thank (insert preferred Deity here) for Nancy Viney with Northern Health's Nicotine Intervention Counseling Centre who 'intervened', and suggested that I might have a more enjoyable weekend/incarceration if I were armed with some form of NRT (nicotine-replacement therapy). The nicotine inhaler likely saved some lives.

Fat-days? Check. The problem is, food started tasting better immediately.

That's a lie... I've never had a problem eating. But it still might be a problem, and I"m a planner.

Rage-induced outbursts? No more than usual. Actually - Sharlene Lively (see parts two and three) actually uttered the words "You're making this seem way too easy", on day two of my 'retreat' at her house. So  I couldn't have been that bad, but I'll leave that analysis to the commenting feature. Let 'er rip.

It has now been three and a half days since my last cigarette. I've had my moments - but I'm willing to go so far as to say that I believe the grip has loosened, somewhat.

Now - a final few thoughts before we move this over to .blogspot (and I see if anyone's actually paying attention!). I officially registered for the quitnow and win contest yesterday. Then, as instructed, I printed off the confirmation email, and marched it over to the pharmacy at Save-On-Foods. There, I was handed the mother-of-all-quitting-smoking-care-packages!!! Free! I am now the proud owner of enough Nicorette gum to get me through ANY morning meeting with my boss (Steve Raper). I also have a new stress-ball to squeeze when anything makes me anxious (i.e. my boss ,Steve Raper).

My apologies to my boss, Steve Raper. Actually - he told me I looked nice today. Smart man.

(repost) Quitting Smoking (the social way) - Part Three

In the interests of being completely honest... I got up this morning, packed a small suitcase and my laptop, went out to start the car to let it warm up, and then sat down to have a smoke.

Hey - I said I'd quit today; I didn't say at what time. And it was a cigarette from the designated "My Last Pack"; not my fault it wasn't empty yet. And I knew I was about to cross a line... the one between quiet attempts to stop smoking (where no one cares if you fail), to doing it right out in the open (where I think some people may have already arranged to collect a bounty if they catch me in the act).

So - at 7:50 this morning, I walked out the front door of our house. I left the still-not-empty pack on the end table by my boyfriend's chair, and he's on notice that he has exactly three days to dispose of them however he sees fit. Honey - they are NOT to be smoked in the house.

(We'll work on Trevor later.)

I got into my car and  drove to the nearest grocery store, where I went inside and bought... wait for it.... GROCERIES! Healthy little snacks that I could enjoy some-what guilt free as I tried to keep my brain, hands, and mouth busy/distracted.

I continued driving - arriving at Sharlene's place around 9 AM. I had already been tobacco-free for over an hour, and thought I was pretty proud of myself at that point. Now that it's been almost 12 hours... I'm insufferable!

So, today, I've already made it through around an hour of driving... which yesterday would have included at least a cigarette or two (underestimation). I've had a couple of snacks, and that post-eating period is also somewhat of a trigger (understatement). I'm going to have a glass of wine and dinner, and see how that goes.

Wish me luck!

PS - Plans for tomorrow include officially registering for QuitNow and Win, and letting you all in on some of the more interesting advice I've had in the last couple of days...

(repost) Quitting Smoking (the social way) - Part Two

The sticker is on the pack... and I don't think it's even going to get finished!
-------------------------------- 
My standard line whenever someone suggested my giving up the habit, has been “Nobody likes a quitter!” Man, do I hope I was wrong.
Other quips I’ve come out with when cornered about my addiction have included the assertion that in order to quit cigarettes, I’d have to get “addicted” to something else – and no man in the world has that much stamina…
Whenever I did come even close to acceding to the fact that I should quit, I would agree, and then proceed to lay out my plan for going “cold- turkey”. It would require a third party who was willing to: take me somewhere far enough away from a potential point-of-purchase that I couldn’t get there on foot; confiscate my car keys and bank card in order to prevent me from going further afield to satisfy any given craving, and; distract, entertain and/or just generally put up with me for a minimum of three days (read 24/7 surveillance), to give me a sporting chance.
Can you believe it? No takers.
Well, as I’ve already mentioned, the idea to register for the quitnow and win contest was Julie Kerr’s. And after I started to seriously consider the idea, I floated my fool-proof, (read “no one will ever take me up on this”) quit-smoking plan. Silly me, I floated it in front of a bunch of public health staff.
Enter Sharlene Lively, NH Regional Manager of Community Care Licensing, and (in an important supporting role) the previously-mentioned PHP Regional Director Lucy Beck.
Not only did Sharlene take me up on the challenge – she’s taking me in. That’s right – the setting for my first three days on the wagon is actually Sharlene’s home. The distraction-slash-entertainment will be provided by Sharlene, Lucy, Sharlene’s dogs and stable of horses. There are also apparently some additional ‘plans’ that Lucy has mysteriously referred to their having made for the weekend. And the putting up with me… well – that’s why there’s a commenting feature on this blog.
I’m signing in at the Lively-O Clinic tomorrow morning. Wish me (and the entire Lively family) luck

Quitting Smoking (the social way) - Part One (repost)

Hi. My name is Eryn, and I’m a smoker.
(Chorus) “Hi, Eryn!”


Tomorrow – maybe even later today - I’m going to buy my last pack of cigarettes. There, I said it. And on the Internet, no less; which I understand is somewhat wide-reaching and permanent.


For the past four years I have been a Communications Officer for Northern Health. I provide media relations and promotional support to all of Northern Health’s facilities, departments and program areas - including our Tobacco Reduction Strategy.

The irony is not lost on me. And I’ve felt self-conscious about it for four years now. So – when the BC Lung Association launched its “QuitNow and Win” contest in October, and NH Director of Population Health Julie Kerr (not-so-subtly) ‘suggested’ I should register – I immediately agreed.


Okay – actually, my first response was, “They don’t make nicotine patches that big.” But then I gave it some thought. First thought – “Could I really quit something I’ve been doing for more than, what - 15 years?” Second thought – “Holy crap – I’ve been smoking for more than 15 YEARS?”


I’m not going to list all of the thoughts that followed in chronological order – it’s an exhaustive list. Let’s just say there were a couple of main (and conflicting) themes: skepticism due to past failed attempts, and wistful daydreaming about all the benefits I’d get from actually succeeding.


Not long after this thought process started, another coworker made another (not-so-subtle) ‘suggestion’. Communications Officer Jessica Johnson has been leading the charge as Northern Health launches itself into the world of social media. My contribution to this effort would be blogging about my quitting journey. I immediately agreed.


Actually – my response this time was “And who’s going to edit this blog for curse words?”


Apparently I gave that some more thought too, or you wouldn’t be reading this. So here I am – thanks to some very persuasive, and (it turns out) VERY supportive colleagues, who whether they like it or not are going to be mentioned and/or featured in these posts for the next few months. In addition to encouraging me to stick with this (if all of my facebook friends follow along, I won’t be able to sneak a smoke in any province in Canada without getting busted), I’m also hoping to encourage others to quit, or at least start thinking about quitting.


Lucy Beck is our Regional Director of Public Health Protection. (At least one friend has suggested perhaps she should be put in charge of just “public protection”, at least for the first few weeks of this process.) This morning, Lucy handed me an official “quitnow” sticker that will go on that pack I’m going to buy, in advance of my quit date – Friday, November 12th. The sticker simply says “My LAST Pack”.



Wish me luck.



Northern Health's Nicotine Intervention Counselling Centre:
http://www.northernhealth.ca/YourHealth/EnvironmentalHealth/TobaccoReduction/NicotineInterventionCounsellingCenter.aspx

Quitnow and Win contest:
http://www.quitnow.ca/